Now I don't usually like to be crass, but just this once, brace yourself:

I woke at 3 a.m. Chrimbo morning, not with the excitement of presents, but with the compulsion to spew my face off and shit my ring out. Which I proceeded to do, on the hour, every hour, for the next fifteen hours.

So that was a bit of a let down, but I'm usually something of a downer at these family events so it wasn't too bad to be locked up in the far bedroom to contemplate my impending doom.

Sorry about that, why don't you go read a nicer Christmas story.

In other news:

• I am actually, factually, seriously moving to Auckland in 10 days; you should come stay and we can go to the BDO together
• my ex-pseudo-post-fiancée darrrling Dani is here in like 3 weeks
• I bought new undies yesterday and they are fantantic — they really start to do justice to my sweet behind
• roaming around town today the true emo-ness of my haircut suddenly dawned on me. Something needs to be done about this immediately
• the gat I got for my bday is choice. I tuned the second string down to G just now and it is noice.
• you put the sizzle in represizzle.