Richard D. Bartlett

Goodnight, Internet

2007-09-11T14:19:00.001+12:00

See you later.

Expand Your Musical Taste With Richard D. Bartlett

2007-03-26T17:58:00.000+12:00

Hi there, my name's Richard D. Bartlett and I have some music that you just have to hear. You mightn't like it, but you simply must listen to it - preferably up very bloody loud. I'll upload selected tracks that will be available for a limited time; it's a bit illegal, so I urge you to go out and buy anything that takes your fancy.

This week in the first instalment of EYMTWRDB I'm going to start right out on the fringe, with a screamo band you've probably never heard of - The Blood Borthers. Do you like The Mint Chicks? They effing love the Blood Brothers. I can absolutely guarantee there is barely a parent alive that will appreciate the sheer noise of this band (what better recommendation could I possibly give?)

"Screamo" means there is some screaming, so it is legit hardcore, but the 'emo' suffix suggests the lyrics are poetic, self-obsessed, and awesome. Once you come to terms with the banshee wail, the face-burning riffs, and the gut-punching double-kicks, you begin to appreciate delicacies like the lush Hammond on this particular track, or the startling lyrical imagery throughout.

Camouflage, Camouflage

"Alice, where's your tongue?"
she said, "look in the encyclopedia's ceaseless chatter."
"Alice, where's your hair?"
she said, "look in the sharp of a well-worn butterfly knife."
"Alice, where's your teeth?"
she said, "look at the piano. they're dangling from every single chord."
"Alice, where's your lips?"
"look in the empires roaring; the tyrants getting so loud and boring."
"Alice, where's your man?"
"look in this black eye written like the o in the word goodbye."
"Alice, where's your house?"
"it's built on the hush of your favorite record's screeching halt."
"Alice, where's your clothes?"
"they'll be sweet sheets around your eyes when street boars eat you alive!."
"Alice, where's your swans?"
"flying in hotel rooms stealing stereos."
mister the sky's a contortionist.
the streets are skipping records blaring hiss.
camouflage, camouflage.
the city's draped in camouflage.
the taxis are jaguars throwing fits.
subways are subterranean bullets.
camouflage, camouflage.
the city's draped in camouflage.
can't you see the sidewalks are just snakes peeling off last year's skin?
can't you find your own face shining in the sky's false reflection?
where's your voice?
where's your dress?
where's your bones?
draped in camouflage.
where's your beach?
where's your sky?
where's your clouds?
draped in camouflage.
and she says give me one good reason not to empty the heart of all it's zeros and ones,
not to smash that telecaster before it births a thousand useless slums.
love bit you in the throat while you were staring at the sea.
all the girls in Montreal are smashing skateboards in the street.
it's 4am and she's at your door with a suitcase, in a nightgown.
we slip through mansions with fences full-grown.
we slip through streetlights in crooked rows.
i saw the sky split in two: one half jealous and one half cruel.
i felt my chest cave in under a pile of synthetic grins.
the fields are day-glo under sobbing rainbows dragged through filthy thoughts,
false applause and camouflage.
i couldn't see the solar system,
it was camouflaged as a tape loop repeating.
i couldn't see the glorious meadow,
it was camouflaged as a smashed in glass window.
i couldn't see the love and affection,
it was camouflaged as a jungle of erections.
i couldn't see the skeletal lightning,
it was camouflaged as a young machete.

Officially Cool

2007-03-20T20:02:00.000+12:00

2007-03-16T09:49:00.000+13:00

If you had to take 700MB of mp3s on a roadtrip with your brother and sister, what albums would you take?

As expected...

2007-03-15T23:42:00.000+13:00

Opened by the best opening band imaginable (Ginger Brown - check 'Madison Garden'), Comets on Fire played one of the most musically impressive shows I've ever experienced. On the off chance that anyone might want to have a gander, I bootlegged most of the show: part 1 and part 2.

And while I'm uploading stuff off my dictaphone, here's some stuff played by me and Scott, flatmate and fellow guitarist in our new band (tentatively known as The Burning Eternal):

Here's us jamming on two acoustics;
me showing off a quick blues melody;
Two parts of the saddest song you'll ever hear (it's in 'crossnote' tuning - DADFAD;
and this is what Scott sounds like when he is in a metal mood.

Obviously they are all lofi, unrehearsed takes, but if you ask me there's something there; expect proper recordings of proper songs soon.

Zeppelin meets Volta

2007-03-14T07:25:00.000+13:00

We're going to see Comets on Fire at the SFBH tonight. I must strongly advise you to join us — this could well be the show of the year.

2007-03-12T22:38:00.000+13:00

Okay, something a bit more high-brow then: here's a fascinating diversion with a little more significance than your average link-of-the-day.

code/fashion/porn/art

2007-03-07T23:11:00.000+13:00

I don't know if I likes it for the tits, or for the Louboutins, but I likes it.

Boy crazy

2007-03-06T23:59:00.000+13:00

Now, everyone knows that girls are crazy: does my bum look big in this? and why doesn't he like me? and I shouldn't have to ask!...

But on occasion a light-bulb turns on above my head with that tiny pinking sound and I realise that boys are just as crazy. For instance, I just noticed that nearly every interaction I have with boys amounts to me trying to say I am better than you, and every interaction with girls: I am better than your boyfriend.

Crazy!

swank

2007-03-01T00:18:00.001+13:00

Sixteen Colours

2007-02-27T11:32:00.000+13:00

Collaborative low-res art from the MS-DOS palette.
[patience - it's twenty thousand pixels tall]

2007-02-24T13:38:00.000+13:00

The morning after the night before: superrockawesome.

Fun With Google

2007-02-21T11:51:00.000+13:00

Quite surprisingly entertaining.

P.S. the new Amy Winehouse album is as good or better than everyone is saying. See.

What Tube?

2007-02-20T01:03:00.000+13:00

These days I get all my illegal music from YouTube. I would like to share:

Gotan Project - Vuelvo al Sur. If you can listen to this song without thinking about sex, I'm concerned.

Radiohead/UNKLE - Rabbit in Your Headlights. Simply the best song & music video combination of all time.

Skip James - All Night Long. This is what I've been listening to lately; combine this with Mastodon and you'll get what my new band sounds like. Skip James is the acoustic guitar's Jimi Hendrix - and he started 30 years earlier.

The World Must Hear of This!

2007-02-16T10:16:00.000+13:00

Now I'm not exactly link-happy, you know, but when I read this on Gizmodo I was just like, yeah man, and... well he says "chromed robot turd."

Unmissable.

Success!

2007-02-11T13:25:00.000+13:00

And check the first dance: video.

Ding Dong

2007-02-08T22:53:00.000+13:00

I'm going down for the wedding tomorrow.

See you Sunday.

X

2007-02-06T22:47:00.000+13:00

Bel and Matt at One Love

Th' future is now...

2007-02-02T08:58:00.000+13:00

...or maybe, like, next week.

[link]

Here's a story:

2007-02-02T01:20:00.001+13:00

Last night I had two dreams in quick succession. One started in the ocean, I was swimming in the dark - I was about to go ashore when, ahem, some hot blondie called out, 'I'm still here!' We swam in together and as I lay on my bed she rubbed my back and I drifted into sleep as she sang me the most beautiful song I'd ever heard and it was the closest thing to perfect happiness I've ever conceived of. The next dream, I was in a big house with a lot of rooms and I felt something on my tongue. As I spat, all of my teeth started coming loose and clinking into my hand, black and broken, almost charred. My worst dreams always have me spitting teeth, and this was the worst one yet, all of them came out. All bar one, actually, the one I just spent a grand on (even my nightmares have a sense of humour, evidently). I woke around five in the morning on Peter's couch, hearing a transvestite outside successfully diffuse a fight by inviting her attacker out for a drink. I lay there in the afterglow of these two nearly concurrent dreams in an immensely confused state of bliss and terror. So what's new?

Stag Party: RIP Ignatius Jeppe Menzies

2007-01-28T16:04:00.000+13:00

Under charges of deserting the fraternity of men Pvt. Ignatius J. Menzies was forcibly brought into custody for questioning last night by a highly-trained squad of his concerned brothers.

His obstinacy and refusal to cooperate left us with no choice but to leave him hooded and bound in solitary confinement, with arbitrarily administered beatings and medicines.

The subject proved to have been indoctrinated to a dangerous degree by the deceptive ranks of womankind and required restraints for much longer than had been anticipated.

Eventually, after significant plea bargaining, the defendant was released on parole and plied with all kinds of truth serum.

Thankfully, in due time we salvaged what was left of the man's dignity and proceeded to celebrate mightily.

bitter|sweet

2007-01-25T00:58:00.000+13:00

...is a balance that I'm totally shit at

Chortle

2007-01-23T14:51:00.000+13:00

Today I got a cheque in the mail from Baycorp. For me, from Baycorp.

Blacky and Whitey

2007-01-21T19:25:00.001+13:00

The Prayer

2007-01-19T09:26:00.000+13:00

Lord, give me grace
And dancing feet
And the power to impress
Lord, give me grace
And dancing feet
Let me outshine the moon

Is it so wrong to crave recognition?
Second best
Runner up
Is it so wrong to want rewarding?
To want more than is given to you?
Than is given to you?

Tonight make me unstopable
I will charm, I will slice,
I will dazzle them with my wit
Tonight make me unstopable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle I will outshine all

Standing on the packed dance floor
Our bodies thrown in time
Silent on the weekdays
Tonight I claim what’s mine

Is it so wrong to crave recognition?
Second best
Runner up
Is it so wrong to want rewarding?
To want more than is given to you?
Than is given to you?